Valentine’s Day. A day for love. Love is defined as, “an intense feeling of deep affection.” Love comes in many forms: partnership, friendship, hugs, kisses, food, and even solidarity. Many times on Valentine’s Day we put the focus on others in our lives. But I challenge you this Valentine’s Day to love yourself. The saying goes, you can’t love someone else until you truly love yourself. YOU are special, YOU deserve love, and YOU should practice self-love. Here are a few suggestions to show yourself some love:
Self-Acceptance – Accepting yourself for who you are is one
of THE most important steps to self-love.
In this world of social media there are posts/pictures all the time that
can lead one to begin to compare themselves with others. Social media tends to promote “perfect pictures”
and that’s not always truth. Stop
comparing yourself and begin to accept yourself. We each have beautiful qualities about
ourselves, whether they be physical or emotional, that attract people to
us. We definitely don’t need to look
like or act like anyone else but ourselves.
We are unique and different.
That’s what makes the world so beautiful.
Minimize – What’s minimalism? Minimalism
is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s
important – so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom. We often times begin to accumulate “stuff”
and we often equate this “stuff” to love.
When in fact, sometimes this “stuff” is literally weighing us down. It doesn’t mean you’re not able to own
material possessions, but the problem today is the meaning we assign to our
stuff. We at times give too much meaning
to our things. A minimalist will search
for happiness not through things, but rather through life itself. This Wednesday is Valentine’s Day. Rather than buy yourself something that will
only last for a small moment in time, i.e chocolate, flowers, etc, treat
yourself to an experience – something that you will be able to look back and
remember – really living in the moment.
Which leads us to the next way to practice self-love:
Pamper Yourself – Respect your body for the amazing vessel
that it is! Take care of your body. Simple self-care techniques: exfoliate your skin, take a soothing bath,
get a mani/pedi, indulge in a massage, prioritize your sleep routine – all of
these are ways to show respect to your body by showing it the love it NEEDS and
deserves!
Nourish Your Body – I talk about this one all the time as a
dietitian. The old saying, “you are what
you eat”. There is some truth to
this. Our bodies naturally detoxify
themselves (that amazing liver and kidney just doing their thing! You can see me talk about it here in this video I did for the New Tropic). But if we continuously put junk in, we will
feel like garbage. Replenish your body
with real, whole food. Food can provide
the nutrients our bodies need and help sustain us by providing us with the
nourishment that we need. This is just
one other way to show yourself some love – choosing healthy food WILL help you to thrive!
Write yourself a note – We all have our days. Some days are busier and more stressful than
others and that can get the best of us sometimes. Try writing yourself a positive note or have
an inspirational quote you like written somewhere so that you can see it first
thing in the morning or during the day (when you need to get over the mid-day
slump). We all can use a pep talk
sometimes and having the reminders nearby is helpful (so the negative thoughts
don’t take over).
Be the ENERGY you WANT to attract – “Your friends should
motivate and inspire you. Your circle
should be well rounded and supportive.
Keep it tight. Quality over
quantity, always.” As we get older, the
number of friends we have does tend to shrink – it’s the shift from having a
large volume of friends to having those close to us that we can truly depend
on. Your vibe attracts your tribe – be
the energy that you want to have surrounding you: uplifting, supportive people.
Be Grateful– Finding things to be grateful for on a daily
basis can help change your inner dialogue. This year I made the commitment to start my day and end my day with one
thing that I am grateful for. It truly
helps me change my perspective on things that I used to think would be “earth
shattering” or I would let ruin my day.
We so many times tend to have
negative internal conversations with ourselves.
Practicing gratitude can help change this internal chatter. Are you grateful for a healthy body – that
moves and allows you to be able to do exercise?
Are you grateful for your sense of smell – for those freshly baking
cookies in the oven –currently the situation in my house. Are you thankful for being able to learn from
your mistakes? Are you grateful for this
present moment? Gratitude is an attitude
of practice.
Let It Go– This is definitely easier said than done. But the truth is you never really are able to
move forward unless you do leave the past in the past – “You can’t reach for
anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” ~Louise Smith Each
day is new and fresh and I do believe that’s helpful in committing to letting
things go. Again, easier said than done,
but a step in the right direction if you truly want to move forward.
“Me” Time– Everybody needs ME time. Taking time out of the day, even if it’s just
10 minutes is so important for us. We
often times give so much of ourselves – whether it’s at work with our patients
or whether it’s at home with our family – the key is to give back to yourself
so you have more to give to others. If
you run yourself into the ground, what good will you be to anyone else? Don’t feel guilty or think you’re being
selfish, think of it as giving back to yourself. This giving back will help you recharge,
reset, and reenergize! Not only is this
important for you but it’s important for those around you as well.
Disconnect To Connect– In this day and age, we are TOO
connected – from our cell phones that receive emails from work to our smart
watches that receive text messages (thanks Garmin, but no thanks). Truly take time at the end of the day to
disconnect from all of your devices. Evidence
shows that our devices are creating havoc when it comes to our sleep patterns –
even MORE reason to disconnect. Take
time to reconnect with how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking and even what
might be going on in your body – I use it as a wind down time before bed. I reflect on the day and write down in my
gratitude journal a few things that occurred during the day. A calm mind helps for sound sleep.
Positive Affirmations– With time, positive affirmations can
help transform our mind. Truly focusing
on the positive moments in our day will help in removing that negative chatter
I mentioned before. Start with something
positive about yourself. It can be
something as simple as your hair looks good this morning or something from the
previous day that you’re proud that you accomplished – possibly handling a
stressful situation at work in a positive manner. Stay consistent with your positive
affirmations, over time it will help change your outlook and again remove the
negative self-talk it’s so easy to get into the trap of.
Learn Forgiveness– with yourself! No one is perfect and I’ve always said that
practice is what makes perfect. There
are going to be some hits and misses – the true failure lies in not even trying! So be a little easy going on yourself and be
proud of yourself for even trying. Today
I tried making homemade chocolate candies – epic fail. Instead of getting upset with myself I
already told myself I WILL be trying again (I’m already reflecting on what went
wrong - pretty sure it was the recipe or the lack of a thermometer). And while candy making is not
something to get uber upset about, remember this practicing forgiveness goes to
the deeper stuff – not beating yourself up at the latest “mistake” you made but
rather focusing on what you learned from that situation. Each struggle or mistake helps you to learn
new things. This in turn helps us to be
strong, amazing people – sure that have some imperfections but that make us
each unique beings.
Practice Saying “No”– This one is important. Learning to say no helps you to set
boundaries for yourself and helps protect you (from those that WILL take
advantage of you). Believe me when I say
it IS uncomfortable to say no but it IS important. There’s no way for you to please everyone and
sometimes you already have enough on your plate – saying yes will only add to
that stress and create aggravation.
Remember the goal is to practice self-love – respect yourself by
standing up for yourself – and practice saying no (so when the time comes
you’ll be able to put yourself first and say no!)
Have FUN! Do not get
me wrong – there is definitely a time and place for being serious. But on the flip side, make sure you leave
some time for FUN! When was the last
time you danced? You sang karaoke? Or
went paddle boarding? I’m reading the
book, Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert
and this is the essence of her novel – she wants you to embrace your curiosity,
find what fuels your happiness, and face your fears – so you can uncover the
“strange jewels” that are hidden within each of us. Be creative and find what stokes your spirit
– giving back to yourself with some fun!
So this Valentine’s day, as you
may be off showing all the special someone’s in your life how much you care for
them, don’t forget about YOURSELF!
“You can search throughout the
entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection
than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the
entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – The Budda
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