Self-Love
Valentine’s Day. A day for love. Love is defined as, “an intense feeling of
deep affection.” Love comes in many
forms: partnership, friendship, hugs,
kisses, food, and even solidarity. Many times on Valentine’s Day we put the focus
on others in our lives. But I challenge
you this Valentine’s Day to love yourself. The saying goes, you can’t love someone else
until you truly love yourself. YOU are
special, YOU deserve love, and YOU should practice self-love. Here are a few suggestions to show yourself
some love:
Self-Acceptance – Accepting yourself for who you are is one of THE most important steps to self-love. In this world of social media there are posts/pictures all the time that can lead one to begin to compare themselves with others. Social media tends to promote “perfect pictures” and that’s not always truth. Stop comparing yourself and begin to accept yourself. We each have beautiful qualities about ourselves, whether they be physical or emotional, that attract people to us. We definitely don’t need to look like or act like anyone else but ourselves. We are unique and different. That’s what makes the world so beautiful.
Minimize – What’s minimalism? Minimalism
is a tool to rid yourself of life’s excess in favor of focusing on what’s
important – so you can find happiness, fulfillment, and freedom. We often times begin to accumulate “stuff”
and we often equate this “stuff” to love.
When in fact, sometimes this “stuff” is literally weighing us down. It doesn’t mean you’re not able to own
material possessions, but the problem today is the meaning we assign to our
stuff. We at times give too much meaning
to our things. A minimalist will search
for happiness not through things, but rather through life itself. Today is Valentine’s Day. Rather than buy yourself something that will
only last for a small moment in time, i.e chocolate, flowers, etc, treat
yourself to an experience – something that you will be able to look back and
remember – really living in the moment.
Which leads us to the next way to practice self-love:
Pamper Yourself – Respect your body for the amazing vessel
that it is! Take care of your body. Simple self-care techniques: exfoliate your skin, take a soothing bath,
get a mani/pedi, indulge in a massage, prioritize your sleep routine – all of
these are ways to show respect to your body by showing it the love it NEEDS and
deserves!
Nourish Your Body – I talk about this one all the time as a
dietitian. The old saying, “you are what
you eat”. There is some truth to
this. Our bodies naturally detoxify
themselves (that amazing liver and kidney just doing their thing!) But if we continuously put junk in, we will
feel like garbage. Replenish your body
with real, whole food. Food can provide
the nutrients our bodies need and help sustain us by providing us with the nourishment
that we need. This is just one other way
to show yourself some love – choosing healthy food WILL help you to thrive!
Write yourself a note – We all have our days. Some days are busier and more stressful than
others and that can get the best of us sometimes. Try writing
yourself a positive note or have an inspirational quote you like written
somewhere so that you can see it first thing in the morning or during the day
(when you need to get over the mid-day slump).
We all can use a pep talk sometimes and having the reminders nearby is
helpful (so the negative thoughts don’t take over).
Be the ENERGY you WANT to attract – “Your friends should
motivate and inspire you. Your circle
should be well rounded and supportive.
Keep it tight. Quality over
quantity, always.” As we get older, the
number of friends we have does tend to shrink – it’s the shift from having a
large volume of friends to having those close to us that we can truly depend
on. Your vibe attracts your tribe – be the
energy that you want to have surrounding you: uplifting, supportive people.
Be Grateful– Finding things to be grateful for on a daily
basis can help change your inner dialogue.
Last year I made the commitment to start my day and end my day with one
thing that I was grateful for. It truly
helped change my perspective on things that I used to think would be “earth
shattering” or I would let ruin my day.
We so many times tend to have
negative internal conversations with ourselves.
Practicing gratitude can help change this internal chatter. Are you grateful for a healthy body – that moves
and allows you to be able to do exercise?
Are you grateful for your sense of smell – for that freshly baking bread
in the oven –currently the situation in my house. Are you thankful for being able to learn from
your mistakes? Are you grateful for this
present moment? Gratitude is an attitude
of practice.
Let It Go– This is definitely easier said than done. But the truth is you never really are able to
move forward unless you do leave the past in the past – “You can’t reach for
anything new if your hands are still full of yesterday’s junk.” ~Louise
Smith Each day is new and fresh and I do believe that’s helpful in
committing to letting things go. Again,
easier said than done, but a step in the right direction if you’re truly
wanting to move forward.
“Me” Time– Everybody needs ME time. Taking time out of the day, even if it’s just
10 minutes is so important for us. We
often times give so much of ourselves – whether it’s at work with our patients
or whether it’s at home with our family – the key is to give back to yourself
so you have more to give to others. If
you run yourself into the ground, what good will you be to anyone else? Don’t feel guilty or think you’re being
selfish, think of it as giving back to yourself. This giving back will help you recharge,
reset, and reenergize! Not only is this
important for you but it’s important for those around you as well.
Disconnect To Connect– In this day and age, we are TOO
connected – from our cell phones that receive emails from work to our smart
watches that receive text messages (thanks Fitbit Surge, but no thanks). Truly take time at the end of the day to
disconnect from all of your devices. Evidence
shows that our devices are creating havoc when it comes to our sleep patterns –
even MORE reason to disconnect. Take time
to reconnect with how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking and even what might
be going on in your body – I use it as a wind down time before bed. I reflect on the day and write down in my
gratitude journal a few things that occurred during the day. A calm mind helps for sound sleep.
Positive Affirmations– With time, positive affirmations can
help transform our mind. Truly focusing
on the positive moments in our day will help in removing that negative chatter
I mentioned before. Start with something
positive about yourself. It can be
something as simple as your hair looks good this morning or something from the
previous day that you’re proud that you accomplished – possibly handling a
stressful situation at work in a positive manner. Stay consistent with your positive
affirmations, over time it will help change your outlook and again remove the negative
self-talk it’s so easy to get into the trap of.
Learn Forgiveness– with yourself! No one is perfect and I’ve always said that
practice is what makes perfect. There
are going to be some hits and misses – the true failure lies in not even
trying! So be a little easy going on
yourself and be proud of yourself for even trying. Today I tried making homemade rolls once
again – epic fail. Instead of getting
upset with myself I already told myself I WILL be trying again (I’m already
reflecting on what went wrong). And
while bread making is not something to get uber upset about, remember this
practicing forgiveness goes to the deeper stuff – not beating yourself up at
the latest “mistake” you made but rather focusing on what you learned from that
situation. Each struggle or mistake
helps you to learn new things. This in
turn helps us to be strong, amazing people – sure that have some imperfections
but that make us each unique beings.
Practice Saying “No”– This one is important. Learning to say no helps you to set
boundaries for yourself and helps protect you (from those that WILL take
advantage of you). Believe me when I say
it IS uncomfortable to say no but it IS important. There’s no way for you to please everyone and
sometimes you already have enough on your plate – saying yes will only add to
that stress and create aggravation.
Remember the goal is to practice self-love – respect yourself by
standing up for yourself – and practice saying no (so when the time comes you’ll
be able to put yourself first and say no!)
Have FUN! Do not get
me wrong – there is definitely a time and place for being serious. But on the flip side, make sure you leave
some time for FUN! When was the last
time you danced? You sang karaoke? Or
went paddle boarding? I’m reading the book,
Big Magic, by Elizabeth Gilbert and
this is the essence of her novel – she wants you to embrace your curiosity,
find what fuels your happiness, and face your fears – so you can uncover the “strange
jewels” that are hidden within each of us.
Be creative and find what stokes your spirit – giving back to yourself
with some fun!
So this Valentine’s day, as you
may be off showing all the special someone’s in your life how much you care for
them, don’t forget about YOURSELF!
“You can search throughout the
entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection
than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire
universe deserve your love and affection.” – The Buddha
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